Karaoke Night is Not for the Meek
by Touch of Grey
Summary: It wasn't that Kaidoh was SCARED of girls, it was just that they, like his teammates and karaoke, were something he didn't want to deal with in large amounts. Hinted OishiEiji, TezukaFuji, MomoRyo.


It wasn't that Kaidoh didn't _like _girls (because as much as they sometimes disturbed him, he really did like them), he simply didn't like being around too many at one point in time. And yet, no matter where or when he went out with other members of the Seigaku tennis team, they would appear in droves. It was as if they had special radars built into them, with a permanent lock on Fuji-sempai or Oishi-sempai; they'd come out of nowhere.

That night, the starters had decided to go out for karaoke after practice. Eiji had chosen the place, swearing that it had a list of songs so large, even Tezuka-sempai would find something to sing. It had started off well enough, with Momo and Ryoma being bullied into singing a duet and everyone else enjoying the food Taka had brought over from Kawamura Sushi.

And then the girls had shown up.

They'd come from everywhere and nowhere at once; girls from Seigaku, Fudomine, Hyotei. Girls from the high schools, even a few college girls, all streaming into the place. Kaidoh froze, staring from Fuji's wicked smile to Eiji's unaffected grin. Obviously, this had either been planned or was one of the worst coincidences in the known universe. Ryoma and Momo finished their song and sprinted back towards the group, flushed in a combination of adrenaline and embarrassment. A smiling, laughing Eiji slipped past them, leering out at the crowd from the stage. A great cheer went up from the girls (and the several boys that had automatically gravitated towards the place) when the Haruhi dance music came on. Eiji didn't sing as much as he led in a gigantic group sing/dance along, leaving the spotlight to tremendous applause a few minutes later. A few girls tried to approach him, but as soon as they saw Oishi-sempai, they backed off for some odd reason.

A girl with shocking green hair and a skirt so short that anyone could see the brand of her underwear (college girl, he thought) ran onstage and began to sing an off-key version of a Namie Amuro song. Her group, three more college girls with wildly colored hair and several visible piercings, cheered and waved sake bottles. After she was done, Oishi got up and did a quiet, blushing song in English that caused several of the Seigaku and Fudomine girls to sigh. Meanwhile, Momo was pestering him about choosing a song, and Fuji and Tezuka-sempai were turning away drinks that rowdy college girls were sending them. At one point, Fuji even turned to the group and glared, and they promptly ran from the building.

Afterwards, Fuji graced the audience with his presence and sang a decidedly raunchy song about a girl cheating on her boyfriend. It was about that time that Tezuka-sempai realized that Fuji was quite drunk, and decided to take him home. Taka departed soon after, with an excuse about helping his father with the weekend rush. Inui (who, as it turns out, _had_ been there all along) got up with a song selection, looked around at the full house, and sat back down blushing furiously. Eiji got up on stage again and sang the Ouran High School Host Club theme, blowing kisses to everyone and dancing like a fool.

A girl who looked highly uncomfortable being there was shoved onstage by her friends, and began to sing the saddest version of Utada's Colors that he'd ever heard. She ran off halfway through, after she actually burst into tears, and didn't return.

Seeing that his teammates weren't going to let him get away without singing _something_, Kaidoh selected a relatively easy song, some Gackt number, and prepared to get it over with. But something was wrong. The wrong song began to play, and Kaidoh was stuck onstage singing a song he'd never heard before, about how some people were smart, in a stupid way. He left the stage red-faced and humiliated, vowing to exact revenge in all sorts of horrible ways on whomever it was that suggested they go out for karaoke, before he remembered that it had been Eiji, and just decided to hell with it.

Kaidoh left the building after his song and never thought about the night again. As it happens, he missed a slightly tipsy Eiji singing a love song dedicated to his "dearest Oishi", Ryoma's improvised rap number, and Inui actually getting the phone numbers of two high school girls with what he called "date statistics". He also turned a blind eye on two very familiar silhouettes making out in a nearby alley, preferring to just walk home.

And if the night ever came up in conversation, he would ever-so-subtly jam his fingers in his ears and hum loudly until the topic was changed.

No, it wasn't that Kaidoh didn't like girls, it was just that they, like his teammates and karaoke, were just something he wasn't prepared to deal with in large amounts.

Fini

This had a plot at one point, but I totally lost it in favor of adding to the crackfest that is Tenipuri fandom. Two of my friends and I had a contest to see who could out-crack the others; I won by a flipping _landslide_. No one else even came close. Review, or I shall stare at you and hiss menacingly! Hey, it works for Kaidoh.


End file.
